Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Pre-Swim Lesson Hell

I believe I have mentioned before that my parents have a pool.  We swim there alot.  A LOT.  A few years ago my mom hired a swim teacher to come to her house for the kids.  She came about 3(?) times. She would have probably came more but Holly locked her out of the house and mooned her through the glass.  We never saw her again.

Thankfully, my kids know how to swim.  Well, kinda.  They will never drown in my parents pool, lets put it that way.  This year, my mom decided to have a different teacher come and teach the kids how to properly swim.  Today was the day.  Have Mercy.

Holly could barely sleep last night because she was so excited!  Melrose was equally excited and LOVES a good challenge.  Marlow Beans is a little fishy so naturally, she was stoked. The girls were never the problem.  Sam, however, told me soon as he heard the news that he WILL be sick today.  This should be fun.  Afterall, he does already know EVERYTHING.

In preperation for the lesson, I thought I would take the 4 kids out for a pre-swim to help contain their excitement (and convince Sam that he wasn't get out of it).  In a short 40 minute time span, we only dealt with about 3 cry fits and 47 fights.  Not too bad.  I also had to assist Marlow to the bathroom every 12 minutes and calm Sammy down after he racked himself trying to escape.  Melrose then piled 4 rafts on top of eachother, climbed on top, and set herself a float.  Once she floated away, she (in the most dramatic way possible)  yelled for someone to immediately come SCRATCH HER BACK!  No problem Mel, I'll be right there.  Just let me wash Marlow's pee down the concrete with the hose, tighten Holly's flippers, and make sure my son can still have kids someday. 

After those 40 minutes were up, things took a slightly worse turn.  Melrose and Holly decided to take zero breaks in between their fights and Marlow was ready for her nap, please and thank you.  As Mel told Holly that she needed to go in a take a nap, Beans sang "A your Adorable" through a megaphone on the deck to lighten the mood.  Just then, HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THANK YOU BABY JESUS, the swim teachers arrived!!!!!!!

The 2 swim teachers are sisters (love them already) and were so so great with all the kids.  The girls started out loving every second of it.  Melrose practically dove into their arms when they arrived.  Holly was in heaven and did so good with her freestyle strokes!  Way to go, Holls!

Sam wanted nothing to do with the water.  So he said.  Truth is, he loves to swim and pretty much never turns down the opportunity.  When he casually told me and my mom (half way through the lesson) that he would only get in if we pushed him...no problem!  Say no more, my friend.  Wish granted.  The rest is history.  They taught him freestyle, backstroke, breaststroke, and the butterfly.  He loved it.

Thank goodness, there were 2 teachers because keeping these kids seperated was crucial to making this a success.  This here was walking a fine line....

The looks they are giving eachother says it all.

The kids are already asking when the girls are coming back so I would say it was success!  Note to self: do not, I repeat do NOT let them swim prior to the lesson.  Also, figure out how to convince Melrose that she is not a professional swimmer after one lesson.  Once we were preparing to leave, you better believe Melrose jumped in where she most certainly cannot touch.  She actually attemped a very confident type of Olympic twist on her way in and yelled "I NEVER HAVE TO WEAR A LIFE JACKET AGAIN!"

Lord, have Mercy.

Mother knows best.  Listen to your Mumsy.

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