Saturday, March 31, 2012

Happy GOLDEN Birthday!

Gager is another year older!  This is not just any birthday either, it's a GOLDEN bday!  Thirty-One on the 31st!  Gage is not crazy about his birthday and is even less crazy about others knowing about his birthday.  This is puzzling to me because who doesn't love the world celebrating them for one day out of the year?  Whatevs.

When I met Gage, I asked him a completely normal (in my opinion) question you would ask a person you wanted to get to know..."when is your birthday!?"  After looking at me like I had 4 heads, he told me February 31st.  Can't fool this girl.  There is no such day!  That should have been my first red flag that I was to never make a big deal out of his BD, but I married him anyways.  I also make a big deal of this day against his wishes. 

I like using old pictures.  We look like infants.  We are both about 15 lbs lighter and if you look closely, you can see my wedding ring that I miss terribly after loosing it almost 3 years ago.

An open letter to my one and only:


We love you.  A lot.  You have 3 amazing kids, a spectacular wife, your dream job, a roof over your head, a car that runs, you are (only) 31 with your whole life ahead of you, and the Jayhawks are in the final four.  Reason to celebrate?  I think so! 

I noticed you don't have your birthday visible on Facebook so no one knows to wish you a good one .
Nice try, counselor.  This blog post is SOOOO going to be plastered all over your wall.

Since you don't like presents and you don't like acts of service (my personal favorites) I'm going to shower you with loving words and also try to make you laugh.  GRC, we love you a whole shit ton. 

Did it work? 

I love that it only takes me saying one curse word to get you laughing.  With that being said, Happy Birthday, you son of a bitch.

My next attempt is to acknowledge the fact that you have recently discovered pop music and it makes me laugh on a very regular basis.  So Sweets, cheers to the freakin' weekend.  I'll drink to that.  I never intend on embarrassing you on the Internet so I will not write anything about you singing Lady Gaga songs in the shower or blaring Rhianna in your car.  I also will not bring up your 'Party Rock' dance.  Defiantly not. You are a real man's man and Eddie Vedder would be proud. 

You are 31 years of solid awesomeness.  I know you get annoyed when I sing to you Kathy Troccoli's "That's How Much I Love You" while plugging my nose, but I can't help it.  Okay, I can.  I just think it's funny. 

You rock my socks, Gager.  What better way to spend this day than at a science fair Destination Imagination competition with your mini.  Only trouble is, I can't get the Austin Powers voice out of my head saying "nerd alert" when I think about it.   O well. 

I love every thing about you.  (That may have made you laugh again?) I really wouldn't change a thing. (okay, that one made ME laugh).  In all seriousness, I know I give you a hard time about how it takes you 17 hours to mow the lawn, but I PROMISE you that the pros outweigh the cons.  Besides being smoking hot, you make me feel loved and taken care of.  There is no amount of green cut grass that can top that!  I know you say that I am your first and only love and that you just happened to be lucky number 47 to me but I'm here to tell you that that is not true.  God designed you for me and prepared me my whole life to be your wife.  I don't want to live one day without you!  Thank you for loving us so much and for being you.  I love YOU.  Happy Golder Gager.  You my fave person.  Hands down.

Love, YOUR one and only.
P.S. rock chalk (in an English accent: Let's go Hawks!)

Monday, March 26, 2012

Baby Genius

If parents bragging about their children drives you to drink than stop right here.  I can't let you read any further if you would rather eat your own skin than hear me tell you that my child is border line perfection.

This is one clever cat...

With looks like that, who cares if you hang out with no shirt on and make an enormous mess of your toys consistently throughout the day.  I'm not even embarrassed about the disaster on the floor.  Baby girl's brain needs to be stimulated.  I had nothing to do with that mess.  This gal's got her daddy's brains and, let's face it, her momma's humor.

Girlfriend is so crazy active 24/7 that we have no choice but to cage her in where she is safe.

Hey Mom, wanna let me out of this baby prison!?

Unlock the gate and no one gets hurt...

Okay, fine.  I'm not wearing this bow then.

At least she kept her shirt on.  I could just eat this child.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Sad Mama

I think I have experienced (time and time again) one of the most painful things a mother can experience and I'm, quite frankly, a little sick of it.  I HATE missing my kids events and activities.  It's just not natural. 

Dear Moms with multiple children,

How the hell do you do it!?  I'm being completely serious.  How do you make it to your daughters dance competition to see her first dance, wiz to the other part of town just in time to see your son's last basketball game, and still make it back to the dance competition to see her next performance?  Obviously, I failed at this task.  Now that I have basically missed the entire basketball season where my son scored a total of 29 points (I witnessed 6) why not miss the banquet to honor him as well?

Sincerely, Sad Mama

That's my boy...#4

Pre-competition warm up.  I love how serious they look :)

Some one want to tell me which one looks more important!?!?!?!?  If you guess BOTH than welcome to my life.

Let's set one record straight:  I have a hard core awesome job.  I get to do the one thing I was actually good at in life and have a burning passion for.  God gave me a talent to not only dance but also to teach and it's unbelievabley fulfilling to make money doing those two things.  On the flip side....missing your kids' crap while working = completely unnatural.

This thursday (my favorite night at work) is my amazing 1st graders program.  I WILL be there!  With bells on!  Holly Dolly has a few lines and is singing a song in Spanish!  Like I said, bells. on.

Even though we have never attended a Willowdale Elementary Hy-Vee night (damn thursday nights) and I missed every single Girl Scout meeting, my kids know how much I love them.  Sometimes I cry.  Okay fine, a lot of times I cry.  Maybe I cried today.  Maybe I didn't.  Okay, I did.  Maybe I'm crying right now.  Who cares?  My point is, missing out on any second of their lives literally makes my heart ache. 

Dear Moms with grown children,

Is this only the beginning of the pain?  Please lie.

Sincerely, young Mama

Dear mom (my mom),

Sorry for ever making you cry.  Thank you for never working.  I know you always wanted a tomboy daughter who loved horses and instead got 4 girly daughters who danced.  Thanks for loving dance because we loved it.  I want to be like you when I grow up.

Sincerely, the brown eyed girl

Okay, I know this is Mackenzie but you guys have like 5,000,000,000 pics together!  I figured we look enough alike for this to make sense.

Dear Stay home moms-

You suck. 

Sincerely, Jealous mama

This day kinda blows and tomorrow is Tuesday which is, by FAR, the worse day of the week.  I have high hopes for Wednesday and Thursday, of course, I will have my bells on.  Buenas noches y lunes de despedida.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Is that a boy or a girl?

Quite possibly the worse question you could ask a mother with a baby.  Is that a boy or a girl?  There is no answer I could give you that makes that question okay.

Today I was pushing my GIRL in a stroller at the mall and was asked that ridiculous question.  Just to clear up the horrible confusion, this is what my baby looked like today....

What you talkin 'bout Willis!?

I stared at crazy lady for what felt like about 60 seconds, all the while refraining from asking her if she paints her son's toenails, and quietly said "girl."  She smiled and nodded as if she was saying "that's what I thought."  Oh, really?  Did you?  What gave her away? 


In the weirdo's defense, Stella had just pulled her bow off.  What a mean mommy to put her in such an identity crisis outfit.  So in reality, this is all the lady had to go off of...

Confusing, huh?

Hey lady, do you want me to hand you a tape measure so you can measure her eyelashes before making your final determination on my child's gender? 

Please ignore the crusted booger on the side of her nose and focus on the length of those eyelashes.  This is my breathtakingly adorable baby GIRL!

Good heavens!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Double Digits

It's March 12th and we have waited 364 days for today.  Sammy started losing sleep one month ago in anticipation for this day.  My excited,  handsome, sleep deprived boy is 10!  That looks as ridiculous as it sounds.  I'm 3 months away from my 30th birthday and I have a 10 year old.  You got a problem with it?

I love this kid more than life.  Don't get me wrong, I love my daughters so much that I could never live without them but if I'm being completely honest, an extremely large portion of my heart belongs to my son.

Sammy decided he didn't want a party this year.  He didn't want presents either.  Before you start feeling too sorry for him, let me tell you what he DID want.  He wanted a trip to go see the NBA basketball team, the Minnesota Timberwolfs, play.  Also a measly little ipod touch.  No biggie. 

Guess what? 

HE GOT BOTH!  The reason is obvious.  My husband is a Lawyer and we are swimming in money and by 'swimming in money'  I mean 'drowning in student loans.'  The trip and basketball tickets were his entire gift from us.  The ipod...we made him save up for it.  As Gage would say, we are still waiting for our money tree to bloom.  Would have been nice to know before Gage decided to become a liar lawyer.

The trip was a blast and worth every penny!  We took the little Narke kids with us and left Stella Rose with G & G.  The boys went to the game and the girls hit the Mall of America.  We topped of the trip with round two at the mall and one IPOD touch rockin' ride home!  Don't worry, Sammy took plenty of pics and video on the ipod and downloaded free games like it was his job.  G & G lived up to their titles by giving both kids a little spending money.  They were very excited to bring home souvenirs but were a little overwhelmed having cash in their pocket because they wanted to buy everything.  We had a pretty solid case of 'mo money mo problems.'

Today Sammy's class is going on a field trip to the bowling alley.  He's totally siked about it because he recently discovered his hidden talent in bowling.   He will need this little pick-me-up because he is crazy tired from the fun weekend.  He didn't even turn on Sports Center this morning!  I was even prepared to let him watch it in peace and not tell him I would rather poke my eyeballs out.  Also, last week before we left for the mini vacay, by boy got braces.  He told his friends when they see him today they could just say "happy birthday brace-face."  The jokes just keep rollin' in.  Bless his little not-so-funny but completely precious heart.  Sammy Thomas, I love you so much and am so proud to be your mom!  HBD buddy boy!

Mama and her brace-face

  Catch ya later Mall of America!

Who goes on vacation and eats breakfast at Target?  WE DO!

We took a train ride to the mall and the girls were so excited because they have never been on one!
Holly:   Do people live in Minnesota?  Cuz I haven't seen any houses...
Alivia:   That's because they all live in apartments
Holly:   Oh
Alivia:   When people come to Nebraska they probably say the same thing because all they see is farms

Missy:   Ouch

The BEST part of the trip in my opinion....

Miss Sally caught wind that the girls were going to AG Bistro and had gifts waiting on our table!!!

Their mama's trained them well. :)

I laughed more on this trip than I have in a really long time.  Some of the things that flew out of Holly and Alivia's mouth is too embarrassing for this blog.   Things girls shouldn't even talk about.  Let's leave the poop and fart jokes to the boys next time, okay girls!?

Special thanks to Anita, the lady working the front desk at our hotel.  You made our stay extra fantastic and Alivia likes your eyebrows.  Big props to Gage as well, considering his two least favorite things in the entire and big crowds.

I will leave you with this photography by Sammy Cobb. 
Hope those boys brought their Kleenexes because that's what I call the NOSE BLEED!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

10 Months

10 down, 2 to go.  I know everyone says they can't believe how fast a year goes but for GOD'S SAKE!!! How can it be that my baby is 10 months old?  Two months from today she is going to be ONE!?  It just can't be.  A birthday?  I still call her my newborn!  Gage gets a little annoyed when I do but I can't help myself.

This morning I was thinking about what I looked like last year at this time.  Okay, if you remember seeing me, you can stop laughing now.  I was a swollen mess and hooked up to that damn non-stress machine twice a week.  100% worth it, Stella Baby!

Have mercy!

The last 10 months of my life has brought more joy than I could have ever imagined.  I'm literaly smiling ear to ear typing this.  This baby is absolutely and positivly perfect in every way, shape, and form. 

Here is her current resume:

Stella Rose Cobb, 10 Months

*Sleeping 12 hours every night
*Sings herself to sleep at nap time while hugging Stella D tightly 
*Loves to eat and her favorite food is bananas
*Has one tooth that you need a maginfying glass to see
*Is up to about 5 strands of blondish/brownish hair
*Loves to dance (rocks back and forth when you say "Stella, can you dance?")
*Waves (backwards) when you say hi or bye to her
*Can say DaDa, MaMa, BaBa, JarJar, and STELLA!  It sounds more like "Lella" but she is trying!
*Crawls like a maniac and walks along furniture 
*Loves getting into cabinets and throwing canned goods all over the kitchen 
*Laughs hystarically if you even mention JarJar's name (the dumb pug) and she enjoys tormenting him by pulling on his ears and tail. 
*Gives amazing hugs and kisses when you ask for them and we are working on blowing kisses

Get over here ya little pig pug!

We have enjoyed every second of watching her grow.  I'm a little sad that the time has gone so fast but also crazy excited to continue on this path.  Wait, did that rhyme!?  I'm a poet and didn't even know it?  Man, this blog just keeps getting better and better!

Happy 10 month Stell Bell!  Mommy loves you more than I can even handle!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Krazy K

I had plenty of friends in High School.  I guess you can say I did my best (?) to keep in touch but I kinda sucked at it.  Facebook doesn't count. Of all the friends that have come and gone there is ONE that is worth blogging about. 

Kristine Kaipust Parsons.  AKA Krazy K.  Krissy is my longest running BFF.  Sixteen years and counting.  In high school we called her Krazy K.  Why?  Because she wore a wife beater with her dickies and carried guns.  I might be exaggerating but you get the idea.

From the outsider looking in at our friendship, her gangsta lifestyle was a bad influence on my goody two-shoes self.  She's the gal who's shit-list I would never want to be on but would bend over backwards for the people she loves.

Krissy and I had two COMPLETELY different groups of friends.  She didn't like mine and I was scared of hers.  She was (is) a year older than me so we were able to pull this off rather smoothly.  Plus, she was always willing to ditch Tech-nine Tiff for me.

I was as girly as a girl can be.  I will never know what she saw in me at that GHS baseball game in 8th grade that made her decide to make me a life long friend.  I just knew not to question it.   We have made more memories than I can count.  Our friendship is solid.  Even when I went away to college and started making "new" friends, Krazy told me straight up I couldn't get rid of her.  I appreciated that.  We got married a month apart and were in each other's weddings.

Every time I see Krissy, I leave giggling.  It's because even though she is an amazing mom and successful business woman, she is still Krazy K at heart.  She still enjoys dropping an occasional F-bomb and I still say "F-bomb."

Krissy, I literally peed my pants looking through old pictures today and that's what inspired this post.  I may regret this but they are way to funny to not share....

Why on God's great earth did we think this was cool!?!?!?

I'm so embarrassed for us right now

Happy Graduation day!  What the hell am I going to do now!?

Oh, I know!  How about you come to my senior Homecoming and we take pictures together!?